If Dylan Davis Was a Handicapper Instead of a Jockey

As most everybody knows by now, jockey Dylan Davis won the first five races and six races total at Aqueduct on Sunday. The six wins tied a New York Racing Association Record and not a single one of them came aboard a favorite (although fields were reduced due to the weather).

Not surprisingly, Davis was elated, yet humble about his accomplishment.

“… It was an incredible day. Never knew it was going to happen,” said Davis. “New York is New York. To do the six winners, it is an incredible feat. With the big guys coming back, hopefully I have enough momentum to carry through a little better than I did last year.”

This got me to thinking: How would Davis had reacted to his great day as handicapper?

If he had been a handicapper standing under the television monitors and lurking by the wagering windows, and not a world-class rider having a banner day, Sunday would have gone a little differently. I can almost see it now…

“I thought the big favorite was vulnerable in the first, so I told my buddy, Vinny, I’m betting against that horse,” Davis (in the body of a horseplayer) says, “and boom — $9.80 winner. I had the exacta too!”

“After the race I hear a guy saying Trevor’s [jockey McCarthy] horse was bumped. I show him my tickets and say, ‘Bump this!”

Davis laughs and yells out a beer order — “something dark” — to another friend, later identified as “Z-Man” (even though his name doesn’t contain the letter “z”), before continuing.

“The second race comes up and I love Linda Rice,” he explains, launching into a story about how he met the trainer leaving the track one day and got his picture taken with her. “So, I’m all over Crimson Frost like stink on [expletive]!

“Cha-cha-boom,” Davis says, thrusting his hips forward for emphasis. “Daily double; live in the pick-3; and $20 to win and place. I’m on fire!”

Davis takes a swig of the beer Z-Man brought him. His face broadens into a smile — or a frightening grimace, depending on your perspective — and he leans in closer. The brownish tint of his teeth suggests that Z-Man followed orders and got him the dark beer he requested.

“So, I gotta tell you about the third race,” he says. “There was no freaking speed, except for [Jeremiah] Englehart’s colt — and I love the sire [of the horse, not Englehart… I think].

“I told a guy at the [betting] window, ‘you better watch that 4-horse.’ And he says, ‘No chance, pal!’

“After the race, I tracked that guy down and said, ‘How do you like me now [expletive]?’ He just stared at me,” Davis chortles.

“So, now I’m up five-, six-hundred bucks, so I go for the throat — $200 to win on Dead Broke because he’s dropping in class and I like the name.

“Wins. It. Easy.”

With each word, Davis thrusts his pelvis out, which, I guess, serves to illustrate just how easily Dead Broke won.

I could go on, but I think everybody gets the picture. Nearly everything I wrote — and I hope everybody understands that Davis, the real Davis, didn’t actually say any of it — reminds me of an incident… or two… or three… I witnessed at the racetrack or an OTB.

What are your favorite racetrack moments involving other bettors?

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